Now before you feel that this post is laden with self-deprecating rantings, let me be clear that Nathan and I are fine with our guyly-guy titles. The guyly-guy / manly-man differentiation simply refers to preferences and leisure activities. Guyly-guys might enjoy a single-origin, organic fresh roasted coffee on the way to the symphony or art exhibition. Or they might enjoy an evening talking about theology or their feelings over a local hoppy micro-brew. Manly-men slay wild animals in the woods or yell at the TV during their favorite football teams’ game. Let me be clear that I am not referring to the character of a man here. Nathan, though a fellow guyly-guy, is a man of deep character. He loves his wife and children well. He earnestly pursues a relationship with Jesus (and a few various saints as he’s my beloved Catholic friend). Nathan is a man. He is also a guyly-guy. My hope is that I am also growing into a man of character…..but I am firmly a guyly-guy.
Since moving home I have become more and more aware of my guyly-guyness. Being in rural Michigan I find there are lots of people who slay animals in the woods and scream at their TVs during football games. Just the other day I was home alone. My parent’s friends stopped in. Soon after another friend of my dad’s dropped in as well. The two guys, being from this small town, vaguely knew each other. Soon, I was standing in the middle of a lively conversation about hunting. “Oh yeah, back in October of 2008 I killed an 8pt with a 20 inch spread and in November of ’09 I killed a 10pt with a 22in spread”, said the one. I nodded, thinking how different life for me is. “Let’s see”, I thought to myself. “In October of 2009 I had season symphony tickets and was still wrestling through an existential identity crisis because I hated my job and had a lack of direction.” Intuitively, no one asked me about any deer I had recently killed. I think I sort of ooze a certain I’ve-never-killed-a-deer aura; people can just sense that about me.
The good news is that the guyly-guy/manly-man distinctive is obviously not restrictive. You should know that many a cookout has been held on the deck that Nathan and I constructed with the help of our manly-man friend. Truth be told, Nathan and Rick (the manly-man) did most of the work and I came along mid-way through and drove a few nails. Regardless, the deck stands as a testimony to Amanda and Angela (‘The Scoffers’ as I like to think of them) that guyly-guys can cross into manly-man territory and build decks. And crossing into manly-man territory is just what I’m doing here at my parent’s. Hauling wood. Driving a tractor. Wearing knee-high rubber boots. Talking about hunting. My hope is that as these differences in lifestyle are observed they cause me reflect on just how trivial they in the grand scheme of things. More important than these is the character we should be developing. I’ve been pondering these words for the last month or so. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Unfortunately, character like that does not come as easily as deck-building skills. Yet I pray that with God’s help I become a guyly-guy of this kind of character.