Since coming here, one thing that continually impresses me is the sense of hospitality of both Chinese and Uyghurs here. The guest is to be treated with reverence and respect and no expense should be spared in showing a warm and hearty welcome. To laid-back North Americans, it feels uncomfortable at times to be served so completely. "Help wash the dishes after the meal", I can hear my mother saying. I have yet to be successful in moving a plate or bowl from the dinner table (or table cloth on the floor, depending on how traditional my hosts are) to the kitchen. I've managed in raising it an inch or two from the surface at which point the host ALWAYS swoops in and whisks my place setting away.
It's expected to be seen at least to the door after the first visit, but usually I've been seen to the apartment complex entrance. Once my friend even hailed a cab, paid what he thought would be the fair, and instructed the driver to give me the change. Hostess gifts are a must here, but I generally find I fail to meet the lavishness of my hosts in their welcome. Once visiting a village home during Korban (the Muslim Feast of Sacrifice) I was sent home with a MASSIVE bag of fresh raisins. Let's not even mention the amount of snacks usually spread before me upon arrival, the endless bowls of tea, and the several courses of home made dishes that follow. One time in Easter China, my hosts took me on a several day, all expense paid vacation to numerous historic sites, including the Terra Cotta Soldiers in Xi'an.
Last week I hosted my first official guests. I have to admit that the demonstration of hospitality by friends in Xinjiang has challenged my own sense of welcome and hospitality. Thinking back to life in the States, I wonder how internationals feel when they walk into an American home and hear, "Help yourself to anything." A good guest here would never even be allowed in the kitchen. Helping yourself to something in the kitchen in this context says to your host, "Stop being a lazy butt and serve me some tea already!" So, as I showed my friends around, I kept thinking back to my own experiences. At the end of the day, I'm still American, so I did let my guests help themselves and even let them do the dishes once or twice.
It's expected to be seen at least to the door after the first visit, but usually I've been seen to the apartment complex entrance. Once my friend even hailed a cab, paid what he thought would be the fair, and instructed the driver to give me the change. Hostess gifts are a must here, but I generally find I fail to meet the lavishness of my hosts in their welcome. Once visiting a village home during Korban (the Muslim Feast of Sacrifice) I was sent home with a MASSIVE bag of fresh raisins. Let's not even mention the amount of snacks usually spread before me upon arrival, the endless bowls of tea, and the several courses of home made dishes that follow. One time in Easter China, my hosts took me on a several day, all expense paid vacation to numerous historic sites, including the Terra Cotta Soldiers in Xi'an.
Last week I hosted my first official guests. I have to admit that the demonstration of hospitality by friends in Xinjiang has challenged my own sense of welcome and hospitality. Thinking back to life in the States, I wonder how internationals feel when they walk into an American home and hear, "Help yourself to anything." A good guest here would never even be allowed in the kitchen. Helping yourself to something in the kitchen in this context says to your host, "Stop being a lazy butt and serve me some tea already!" So, as I showed my friends around, I kept thinking back to my own experiences. At the end of the day, I'm still American, so I did let my guests help themselves and even let them do the dishes once or twice.