This was written several months ago during Ramadan. Just found it and decided to post.
It's Ramadan. If you don't know, Ramadan is one of the 5 Pillars of Islam, the holy month of fasting. Those who observe the fast abstain from food and drink from sunrise until sunset for one month. Since the Islamic year is based on the lunar calendar, the time of Ramadan changes. As you can imagine, observing the fast in July is not easy. The weather is hot and the days are long. Like many things here, I've found understanding the implications of local culture are not always easy.
I called some friends last night to ask them to dinner. We set the time for this evening around 6pm. Late this morning it dawned on me. Ramadan! I thought through the situation. Are they fasting but just felt too awkward to say so over the phone? Are they not fasting? I decided to call, confirm the time, and tactfully inquire as to whether or not they are fasting. I assumed not. I found I've been able to pinpoint fairly accurately who will and who will not be fasting. I assumed correctly. Non-fasters. Admittedly I was relieved. Though I greatly respect my Muslim friends I discovered my own selfishness when people ask me to wait the extra two hours until sunset to eat together!
Meeting up at the appointed time we headed off to eat. Walking into the restaurant I found numerous tables filled with people and no food. Watermelon and nan sat at the center of each table, the traditional way to break fast at sunset. Living abroad I have become quite familiar with a certain sensation. That is the sensation that tells me something is amiss. It is the sensation of cultural unfamiliarity and the realization that I'm not sure what to do. There was some discussion in Uyghur, which I don't speak and my other friends mumbled something about there still being an hour and a half. Was the restaurant not serving food until sunset? Or did my friends not want to eat until sunset? Yet none of them were fasting. Since I had invited this group of people, I naturally felt responsible for the situation, yet I understood none of the conversation going on. Finally my friend suggested we go to another place.
Walking to the other restaurant I assessed the situation. I find in stressful cultural situations I start sweating. I was wondering if my friends noticed. As I thought through the situation I decided the issue was not whether or not my friends were fasting but rather that they felt awkward eating in front of a bunch of people who hadn't eaten all day and still had an hour to wait. One big difference Westerners often underestimate is the influence of the community on the individual. In this situation I could understand. It would be awkward to eat with 40 people giving us side glances as their stomachs growl from hunger. Yet I felt awkward for not having thought through this completely. Like many situations I thought initially I'd understood and acted appropriately only to find out there was another layer of complexity yet to be fully grasped. So next time I'll know. During Ramadan, just cook dinner at home!
It's Ramadan. If you don't know, Ramadan is one of the 5 Pillars of Islam, the holy month of fasting. Those who observe the fast abstain from food and drink from sunrise until sunset for one month. Since the Islamic year is based on the lunar calendar, the time of Ramadan changes. As you can imagine, observing the fast in July is not easy. The weather is hot and the days are long. Like many things here, I've found understanding the implications of local culture are not always easy.
I called some friends last night to ask them to dinner. We set the time for this evening around 6pm. Late this morning it dawned on me. Ramadan! I thought through the situation. Are they fasting but just felt too awkward to say so over the phone? Are they not fasting? I decided to call, confirm the time, and tactfully inquire as to whether or not they are fasting. I assumed not. I found I've been able to pinpoint fairly accurately who will and who will not be fasting. I assumed correctly. Non-fasters. Admittedly I was relieved. Though I greatly respect my Muslim friends I discovered my own selfishness when people ask me to wait the extra two hours until sunset to eat together!
Meeting up at the appointed time we headed off to eat. Walking into the restaurant I found numerous tables filled with people and no food. Watermelon and nan sat at the center of each table, the traditional way to break fast at sunset. Living abroad I have become quite familiar with a certain sensation. That is the sensation that tells me something is amiss. It is the sensation of cultural unfamiliarity and the realization that I'm not sure what to do. There was some discussion in Uyghur, which I don't speak and my other friends mumbled something about there still being an hour and a half. Was the restaurant not serving food until sunset? Or did my friends not want to eat until sunset? Yet none of them were fasting. Since I had invited this group of people, I naturally felt responsible for the situation, yet I understood none of the conversation going on. Finally my friend suggested we go to another place.
Walking to the other restaurant I assessed the situation. I find in stressful cultural situations I start sweating. I was wondering if my friends noticed. As I thought through the situation I decided the issue was not whether or not my friends were fasting but rather that they felt awkward eating in front of a bunch of people who hadn't eaten all day and still had an hour to wait. One big difference Westerners often underestimate is the influence of the community on the individual. In this situation I could understand. It would be awkward to eat with 40 people giving us side glances as their stomachs growl from hunger. Yet I felt awkward for not having thought through this completely. Like many situations I thought initially I'd understood and acted appropriately only to find out there was another layer of complexity yet to be fully grasped. So next time I'll know. During Ramadan, just cook dinner at home!